I find it relatively easy to get close to others and am comfortable depending on them and having them depend on me.I don’t often worry about being abandoned or about someone getting close to me. I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; I find it difficult to trust them completely, difficult to allow myself to depend on them.They found that, although general anxiety was associated with generally lower marital satisfaction, that association did not hold for partners had had frequent sex during the previous 6 months. "I'm driving him away, I just know I am," she sniffed. If I don't know exactly where he is I get suspicious. Let's look at this in more depth: When we enter an intimate relationship we can feel very emotionally vulnerable; especially if we have felt let down or hurt in previous relationships. When we become anxious about anything, we start looking for signs of things 'going wrong' (nervous flyers look out for signs that the aircraft is in trouble). But we all need the comforts and support that intimacy can bring us.Another line of research by Michelle Russell and Jim Mc Nulty suggests that it’s not only how you handle conflict that can buffer against a partner’s insecurity, it’s also the frequency of sex. Those researchers measured newlywed couples’ satisfaction and their frequency of sex over the first four years of marriage.
However, the discussions went a lot more smoothly if their partners responded by softening their communications, rather than digging in and becoming demanding.
Anxious/ambivalent lovers perceive their partners as less caring, and Jeff Simpson and his colleagues have found that anxious/ambivalent women are prone to develop postpartum depression if they do not feel their partner is giving enough support.